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Just flew in from New York, I choose sleep, goodnight all.

Lost in Translation or Losing It From Translation?

We're all used to our language B teachers telling us to not use translation devices, but why exactly is that?

Well, this might shed some light on that idea.

Let's talk about the difficulty of translation..

Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

Translations: 

#1:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

Diction: the diction on "gigantic insect" is more formal to me. Instead of "bug" it is "insect." I think it sounds more scientific, if that's at all possible, and more matter of fact.

Syntax: Very straight forward. It uses more detail than other translations like with the words "as" "in his bed" "transformed" "insect." More of an elaborate syntax.

Imagery/Details: The detail of "gigantic insect" is very detached. Uses "as" as a detail to illustrate how this is currently happening.

Structure: The way the sentence is structured makes it something that is "happening" and not "happened."


#2:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

Diction: Overall, this sentence is more conversational and simple. It also seems less intimidating.

Syntax: Very simple with very little detail.

Imagery/Details: The detail of "giant bug" is more simple and common, less scary than "gigantic insect."

Structure: Structured in a past tense setting.

#3:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

Diction: This sentence is more intimidating to me and seems like it has a more negative connotation.

Syntax: In a more present style, opposed to past tense.

Imagery/Details: Calling dreams "troubled" makes me feel like something going on in his life is linked to them. Enormous bug is more creepy than "giant bug." It would freak me out more if someone said there is an "enormous" bug over here instead of "giant."

Structure: "When" sets this event apart from other events.


#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

Diction: Seems more metaphorical and elaborate.

Syntax: More elaborate syntax. Uses more commas to make these little side notes almost.

Imagery/Details: "awakening" is a fancy word for waking up. It almost seems like "awakening" is referring to transforming into a bug. "Agitated" sounds more like he didn't sleep well instead of he had bad dreams, so you could almost think that "monstrous vermin" just means he didn't sleep and was in a bad mood or something.

Structure: There's the central idea of becoming a "monstrous vermin" with little side notes.

Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

So.......

How does the word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift in each affect meaning? Is one more effective than another? Why? What does this exercise bring up about the difficulty of reading translated texts? How do different translations effect the tone of the sentence? 

I think that when someone alters diction, syntax, punctuation, and imagery can potentially alter the entire meaning of something, but that doesn't happen all the time. However, I would say that 99% translated works alter the original tone of the author in some way, be it big or small. This is simply because we all write in our own unique way. Someone else's structure and word choice will always be different from your own, setting aside the basic rules of grammar of course. So, when a work is translated, the translators own writing style will have some sort of influence over it. 

When it comes to effectiveness, I am unable to judge this specific translation. I am unable to read the original translation and actually understand it, therefore, I am unaware of that author's individual style of writing and tone. You can't judge effectiveness if you don't know the effects of the original sentence. This brings up the difficulty of translated work; we can't compare them to the original. Unless we can read the book in its vernacular, it is impossible for us to fully understand the author's original tone or intentions. There is still value in translated works, but we just have to accept the fact that we won't fully understand what the author meant.