It Was a Change

It was a year of change. 

I know everyone changes over time, but I wasn't prepared for my exponential growth over the course of this school year. It all started with The Long Fuse (which actually seems like an appropriate title for my entire senior year). After months of procrastination and two days of furious reading, I was convinced that I was going to be defeated by senior year. The start of my senior year, what I thought would be fun, was a harsh reality.

However, after a couple of weeks of classes, I settled in to my usual ways and extracurriculars, and turned in my time consuming and soul crushing summer assignments, the first triumph of my year. School started to become habitual again and my spirits were up (as much as they can be waking up at 5am everyday).

But the beginning of the school year was also the beginning of new leadership positions. Not only was I a new madrigals section leader and captain of my riding team, but I also started teaching a new student at Helping Horse, the therapeutic riding program I volunteer at, and I had about ten piano pieces to learn for my IB Music class (that isn't actually a class this year, so all my work was independent). My year was starting to look busier than ever.

Anyone in school knows I'm pretty quiet and keep to myself. All these new challenges changed that for me. Leadership makes you step up and make yourself known, something I've struggled with for years. This year I found my voice, not necessarily in the classroom, but in other areas of my life. I found myself speaking up and letting myself be heard, and I realized something about myself; I am very very very opinionated and passionate about everything I do. I also realized something else; being overly opinionated and passionate may not always make you the most popular person, but it makes you popular with the right people.

With my new found voice, I also overcame the worst obstacle of all; myself. I've always convinced myself that I wanted to go to some really nice college with huge class sizes, major in biology, and become a doctor. Here's the problem; I hate big classes, I suck at science, and I don't believe in animal testing, so how would I make any discoveries as a doctor? My future was problematic. Somewhere along the way, I had a "no duh" moment and realized I have NO clue what I want to do. So, I stopped worrying about going to some impressive college that would "look good" and I picked a small liberal arts college that I knew I would love aka UNC Asheville.

It was a year of change. Change for the better. Change that I know is for the best. Change that will lead me to a future that is right for me. Change that is scary, but worth it.

In the Mind of Whitman (maybe)

WHITMAN'S NOTEBOOK:

AT A GLANCE:

Initially, I found Whitman's notebook to be very unorganized, but as I scrolled through it again, I kept seeing the word "ship" pop up. 

At one point he says "ship of libertad" (maybe). Either way, it looks kind of like "ship of liberty." 

He later mentions "the last war"which makes me think of how war is supposed to lead to liberty. 

He has some weird drawings of himself? 

The first drawing looks pretty normal in my opinion. It looks like the perception of an outsider maybe?

The second drawing looks like he's depicting himself as outspoken. The facial expression and his hand motions make it look that way at least.

The third drawing looks relatively normal, but seems like it is exaggerating his features. 

The fourth drawing looks like he's depicting himself as introvert or maybe even hiding himself away? 

Then there's this weird drawing of George Washington (?) as a skeleton with a huge heart and an arrow through it. I honestly didn't know what to make of this, other then it seemed to go along with the theme of liberty and maybe ships?

AFTER:

The first thing I noticed after reading was the possible purpose behind him using ship so much. It looks like he used it in a metaphorical sense rather than a literal sense, like "Ship of State" or "Ship of  the Hope of the World."

I also realized the context of Whitman's notebook -- the civil war. It looks like a lot of his notes were about a dialogue with Lincoln, which is a little strange to me. I feel like he didn't actually have any really strong feelings about Lincoln, but planned to use these fictional dialogues to critique society.

It turns out that "the last war" was in reference to the civil war, which I found to be interesting. I can't tell if Whitman really thought this was going to be the "last war" as in everything will be peaceful, or as in everything is downhill from here. For whatever reason, Whitman doesn't strike me as the type of person who would think anything was ever going to be peaceful, so I'm thinking the second interpretation may be more accurate. 

I thought the use of "Libertad" was really interesting. He used the Spanish word for "Liberty" rather than regular English. It sad that no one really knew for sure why he used it, but that it was possibly his way of saying that freedom needed to universal to other nations.

As far as the drawings, I found it interesting that these weren't his depictions of himself, but of others. I feel like the way others depict us is more accurate than the way we depict ourselves. We always look at ourselves in the best or worst lights, which I why I initially thought Whitman drew the images -- because they seemed so extreme. So, when I found out that these were the work of others, I trusted their interpretations more --if that makes sense? All and all, I think Whitman appears introverted, but maybe is more opinionated and outspoken to more friendly faces.

The last drawing is still pretty sketchy (get it?). It mentioned that it was a possible allegory to America as a whole, which made sense to me, but it also bothers me that I won't ever know for sure why Whitman included it. 

So, to organize my thoughts a bit, here's what I think: Whitman is hitting on the themes of liberty and freedom in his writings because of the context of the Civil War and the implications it had socially. I think he also focuses on the idea of other nations freedom and hints at the importance of it. This next assumption may be a bit of a stretch, but I think Whitman also struggled with his personal freedom. I think he was probably an introverted individual who struggled with expressing his opinions vocally. I think he used his poetry as his freedom of expression, but still struggled with expressing his views outwardly. 

Freebie

Just flew in from New York, I choose sleep, goodnight all.

Lost in Translation or Losing It From Translation?

We're all used to our language B teachers telling us to not use translation devices, but why exactly is that?

Well, this might shed some light on that idea.

Let's talk about the difficulty of translation..

Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

Translations: 

#1:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

Diction: the diction on "gigantic insect" is more formal to me. Instead of "bug" it is "insect." I think it sounds more scientific, if that's at all possible, and more matter of fact.

Syntax: Very straight forward. It uses more detail than other translations like with the words "as" "in his bed" "transformed" "insect." More of an elaborate syntax.

Imagery/Details: The detail of "gigantic insect" is very detached. Uses "as" as a detail to illustrate how this is currently happening.

Structure: The way the sentence is structured makes it something that is "happening" and not "happened."


#2:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

Diction: Overall, this sentence is more conversational and simple. It also seems less intimidating.

Syntax: Very simple with very little detail.

Imagery/Details: The detail of "giant bug" is more simple and common, less scary than "gigantic insect."

Structure: Structured in a past tense setting.

#3:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

Diction: This sentence is more intimidating to me and seems like it has a more negative connotation.

Syntax: In a more present style, opposed to past tense.

Imagery/Details: Calling dreams "troubled" makes me feel like something going on in his life is linked to them. Enormous bug is more creepy than "giant bug." It would freak me out more if someone said there is an "enormous" bug over here instead of "giant."

Structure: "When" sets this event apart from other events.


#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

Diction: Seems more metaphorical and elaborate.

Syntax: More elaborate syntax. Uses more commas to make these little side notes almost.

Imagery/Details: "awakening" is a fancy word for waking up. It almost seems like "awakening" is referring to transforming into a bug. "Agitated" sounds more like he didn't sleep well instead of he had bad dreams, so you could almost think that "monstrous vermin" just means he didn't sleep and was in a bad mood or something.

Structure: There's the central idea of becoming a "monstrous vermin" with little side notes.

Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

So.......

How does the word choice, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift in each affect meaning? Is one more effective than another? Why? What does this exercise bring up about the difficulty of reading translated texts? How do different translations effect the tone of the sentence? 

I think that when someone alters diction, syntax, punctuation, and imagery can potentially alter the entire meaning of something, but that doesn't happen all the time. However, I would say that 99% translated works alter the original tone of the author in some way, be it big or small. This is simply because we all write in our own unique way. Someone else's structure and word choice will always be different from your own, setting aside the basic rules of grammar of course. So, when a work is translated, the translators own writing style will have some sort of influence over it. 

When it comes to effectiveness, I am unable to judge this specific translation. I am unable to read the original translation and actually understand it, therefore, I am unaware of that author's individual style of writing and tone. You can't judge effectiveness if you don't know the effects of the original sentence. This brings up the difficulty of translated work; we can't compare them to the original. Unless we can read the book in its vernacular, it is impossible for us to fully understand the author's original tone or intentions. There is still value in translated works, but we just have to accept the fact that we won't fully understand what the author meant. 

I Can "Never Let Go" of this IOC...

Passage and planning

Living passionately, aging, and graduation.

LIVING PASSIONATELY:

https://www.ted.com/talks/isabelle_allende_how_to_live_passionately_no_matter_your_age

SUMMARY:

This ted talk primarily focuses on how to keep passion in your life despite your age. Isabel Allende opens with discussing the idea of aging. She says that society labels us as old at about 65, and that's when we feel most of our aging. In reality, we are constantly aging, but our minds stay young. She says that aging is all about our attitudes and how we react to it. We must say yes to life and allow ourselves to age and not fight it. It's all about learning to accept things and enjoy life. She says that it takes practice and training. This idea of acceptance isn't easy for everyone, and we must train ourselves for it. She says we must choose to stay engaged in life, not let our age weigh us down.

TACTICS:

Allende uses a variety of pathos and logos to further her ideas. We all experience aging, it's very personal for all of us. She talks about parts of her body "dropping" and how she no longer feels like she is noticed by others. This is something most older women can relate to and feel on an emotional level, creating pathos. Allende also uses humor, like the video of the child meditating. It gets the attention of the audience and engages them, creating more pathos. Allende also gives examples of women she believes to be living passionately; some activists, some average women, which is a pretty large spectrum. This is considered logos, because it's like supporting evidence. "If these women can do it, so can you!" sort of thing going on. I think to give this idea more credibility, Allende could have explained why she thinks they are "living passionately" and how they got there in the first place.

PERSONAL CONNECTION:

This talk is personal to me because of my particular situation: I'm a senior in high school about to graduate, a basic milestone in everyone's life. It shows signs of growing up and entering the real world. So when I was confronted with this idea of aging and living passionately, I was interested. We all want to find purpose in our lives and know how to find passion. As I am entering this new stage in my life, I want to know how I can enter it with passion, and continue to have it forever. That's why I chose this talk. 

The Hero of Double Indemnity

"In your mind, are there any heros in Double Indemnity? If so, who?"

Double Indemnity is essentially a movie about a deceptive woman tricking a man into killing people, and then that same man gets screwed over because of it. There's not a lot of morals in this movie, let's be honest. 

However, the movie does have its very own mora compass, Keyes. From the beginning, Keyes is an extremely introspective and cunning individual who will stop at nothing to determine the truth. He doesn't take the easy way out, he digs until he is certain he has found the truth. 

Unfortunately, this turns out to be a big issue for Walter Neff. After Neff meets the glamorous and seductive Phyllis Dietrichson, he's willing to do anything for her. This includes, but is not limited to, killing her husband so she gets all his money. They appear to get away with it at first, but along comes Keyes. 

With a shadow of a doubt in his mind, Keyes starts digging. He trusts his instincts and follows it to find the truth. This leads to him bringing in the witness Jackson to confirm his hunch that Mr. Dietrichson was not the one on the train. This paves the way for Keyes to find the truth. 

But before Keyes discovers the truth, Neff, with an extremely guilty conscience, confesses. But I think we can all agree that Keyes is the true hero of this story because of his undying need for the truth and justice, despite how things may appear.